バカか私は
NakamuraEmi
Text

I wonder why it hurts so much to fall on your ass when you’re an adult

Carrying the dull pain of being cut up
Returning to my pitch-black home, I can do nothing but cry alone
I really want someone to hear me out, I want them to tell me it’ll be okay
I’ll grip my pillow tight again today

I thought I had left my foolish pride 10 years ago but
it’s now swelled up many times over and made an appearance
It’s probably alright now
It’s probably alright even if I’ve slacked off a bit
“It’s embarrassing at my age” is too restrictive
Flush it out in the toilet as soon as possible

Am I stupid, I’m always putting what is important to me at the back
As I become more of an adult, the things I yearn for slip by

‘Cause doing my makeup for someone
‘Cause buying my clothes for someone
‘Cause cooking for someone
That happiness seems commonplace

The red light won’t change if I stay like this
But even so, of course, full of expectation of myself
the only thing I can do is push forward, shouldering my regrets and the future
I should slack off just enough, act spoilt just enough, and progress forward
My lonely self reflected in the shop window, I’ve gotta flush it in the toilet as soon as possible

Am I stupid, acting proper, I’ve lived strong to this point but
As I become more of an adult, I miss the time I yearn for

Am I stupid, I’m always putting what is important to me at the back
As I become more of an adult, the things I yearn for slip by

‘Cause laughing together with someone
’Cause eating with someone
’Cause living my life together with that person
That happiness seems so commonplace, I’m so stupid

When I fall on my ass as an adult I should just laugh already
and reach my hand out to someone